Social media has made a dent in how people perceive others. Comparing ourselves to the explosion of materials can be draining. While comparison can be a valuable source of motivation and growth, it can also cause us to underestimate or overestimate others and ourselves.
The downside of using others as a benchmark for your worth is the overestimation of their achievements, their looks, and their lifestyle, and it kills your self-confidence and self-belief.
The Dangers of Overestimating Others and Underestimating Yourself
Overestimating others is usually based on emotional insecurity—your beliefs, biases, and prejudices.
No matter what, there are always individuals who will excel and surpass you in certain aspects; everyone is unique. With a mix of genetics, background, influences, and resources at play, it’s expected that some will excel in certain areas where you may not.
When you compare yourself to others, you often compare yourself to an idealized, unrealistic version of that person. What we often forget is that we only see the highlights, not the tears and struggles the other person had to endure.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses; the difference lies in how we leverage them—some to their advantage, others squander them.
If comparing is how you measure your worth, you will always feel inadequate. In the game of life, achieving superiority in every aspect over others is an unattainable goal, and why would you even want to?
The Damage of Comparison
“Comparison is the death of joy” – Mark Twain
1. The Side Effect caused to your Being. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low confidence, and resentment.
2. Assumption and Inaccurate Information. Nowadays, life is a filter. An edited version of someone’s reality. Assumptions can kill your spirit and Inaccurate facts lead you astray.
3. Does not Support your Goals. Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than you is time-consuming and ineffective.
4. Rose Colored Glasses are Illusions. Sometimes we put people on a pedestal, which subconsciously puts us on a lower level- this usually leads to disappointment: Expectation vs Reality
Part of what makes life awesome and interesting is learning from the success of others. Instead of trying to be as good as or better than others, focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself.
- Cherish your Uniqueness
- Work on your strengths and weaknesses
- Practice Self-Love
- Self-Acceptance is crucial
- Be Accountable for your actions
- Do more, Be more, so you can live more
Related Post:
- Surprising Reasons Why Personal Accountability Is Key To Success
- Love Yourself First: Mastering Self-Love In Just 30 Days
Rising Above: Conquering Underestimation
Underestimating yourself often stems from insecurity rather than perfectionism. When lacking confidence in your abilities, you’re prone to undervalue yourself. Negative thoughts can dominate your mindset, leading to unfounded assumptions.
Take a moment to analyze your thoughts. While it’s natural to compare yourself to others, what conclusions are you drawing?
Self-doubt may arise from past failures, causing a loss of confidence. Remember, everyone faces challenges; the key lies in your response—embracing understanding, acceptance, shifting perspectives, and making a commitment to persevere.
Don’t allow past setbacks to hinder your pursuit of goals.
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right” – Henry Ford
Embracing Growth and Resilience
If you set the bar low, clearing it becomes easy; failure seems distant. Yet, when you raise the bar, failure becomes a frequent visitor.
Failure in life brings criticism, comments, and humiliation, a bitter pill. It demoralizes, leaving one feeling utterly defeated.
Some opt for the easy fix: lowering the bar to avoid failure. But this belief signals a lack of courage to face life’s challenges head-on. Fear of failure becomes an obstacle to victory in life’s game.
Related Post:
- 13 Ways To Get Out Of Your Head And Overcome Self-Doubt
- Why Risk-Takers Have More Chances Of Success In Life
Strategies for Success
- Challenge negative thoughts.
- Compile a list of your positive traits.
- Eliminate unproductive self-criticism or insults.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others.
- Moderate your social media consumption.
- Embrace the necessity of making mistakes.
- Set clear, achievable goals.
the bottom line is:
It’s crucial to recognize that superiority is not inherent in those around you. We all operate within the same temporal and physical constraints—we each have 24 hours a day and possess the same basic anatomy, including a brain.
Your uniqueness shines through your talents. Seize the opportunity to thrive; you are inherently deserving.
Echoing the wisdom of experts, successful entrepreneurs strategically assemble teams comprised of individuals whose intellect surpasses their own.
By shedding ego and insecurity, they prioritize self-awareness, understanding their weaknesses and goals, and meticulously selecting team members. If they can adopt this mindset, so too can you.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ 1. How do I stop comparing myself?
Comparing oneself to others is a common habit, but it can harm one’s mental well-being. To stop this comparison cycle, try the following strategies:
- Focus on Your Journey. Instead of fixating on others’ achievements, focus on your own progress and growth. Set personal goals and work towards them at your own pace.
- Practice Gratitude. Cultivate gratitude for what you have accomplished. Regularly acknowledge your achievements and strengths.
- Limit Social Media Use. Social media often portrays a skewed version of reality, leading to unhealthy comparisons. Limit your time on social platforms and unfollow accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts. Whenever you compare yourself, challenge those thoughts by reminding yourself of your worth and capabilities. Replace negative comparisons with positive affirmations.
- Celebrate Differences. Embrace the diversity of talents, experiences, and journeys among individuals. Recognize that everyone’s path is unique, and comparison serves little purpose.
- Seek Support. Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional about your struggles with comparison. They can provide valuable perspective and support.
22 comments
Alex
Oh gosh! Yes, yes, yes to Social Media being the crux of a burgeoning mental health problem amongst women trapped in this self-comparison thing. I’ve deleted the apps from my phone and now am very INTENTIONAL about any time I spend on FB – i.e., logging on to check specific things only and I built a self-hosted community off of facebook for my business.
I’ve also really come to accept myself – faults and all – and I really like myself. I don’t want to sound like a “big-headed wanker” – in fact, isn’t it sad I’m even excusing myself to you for actually saying that I like myself?
It’s a work in progress… always will be.
Lani
Hi Alex,
I like what you said- Being Intentional – I should work on that, thanks for the tip!
Headphonesthoughts
Its hard to stop comparing myself to others. I have learned that its good to see yourself as an individual and not to see everything wrong about me or what makes me different from everyone else. Comparing is not a good habit and its good to not compare myself to others.
Lani
Hi Headphonesthoughts,
I totally agree with you but I must admit it can be really challenging.
Anita
It’s tough sometimes not to compare yourself to others when we’re bombarded with information online. I don’t think it’s good for our mental health, so I try to avoid it. I also love your statement “Be ready to fail if you want to win.” So true. Great info. Thanks!
Lani
Hi Anita,
Thanks for your comment. Comparing ourselves to others, overestimating them, and underestimating ourselves is a real virus and social media is perpetuating it. We need to practice self-love and self-acceptance.
Nicole
I think it is great you are advocating to stop comparing yourself to others. I think the problem when you do that, especially with social media, is you don’t know how far someone has come to get where they are. It takes hard work to meet your goals. If you are starting something new, you are not going to be as good as someone who has been at it for years. I am in a lot of yoga groups and I have to remind myself, I have only been at this 2 years. Of course I can’t do some of these advanced moves, but it is something to aspire to. Finding a supportive community instead of comparing is so important.
Lani
Hi Nicole,
Thanks for your comment. I totally agree with you on all points- even the yoga, I am in the same space as you.
Krysten Quiles
Learning to stop comparing yourself is SO IMPORTANT. This is a great post!
Lani
Hi Krysten,
Thanks so much for your comment
Cori
I totally agree that with social media these days it is hard not to compare yourself to others. I only get on Facebook for my business and I don’t have Instagram or Twitter accounts. I try to stay away from things that cause me to compare. But it still is hard. Great read!
Lani
Hi Cori,
I totally agree with you. It’s really a challenge, I always try to remind myself that most are really just filtering.
Tamera-YourChristianBestFriend
Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s so hard not to compare ourselves to one another. But I actively take my thoughts captive and remember that I’m just as amazing too. It’s so freeing.
Lani
Hi Tamera,
Thanks for your comment. Indeed you are an amazing person and you are more than enough
Kaybee Lives
Love this! I totally agree that social media is doing bad things to mental health and we need to figure out better ways to manage the repercussions in your life. Thanks for sharing a great post!
Lani
Hi Kaybee,
Thank you so much. I 100% agree with you. The filters people use in social media are really damaging. But instead of comparing ourselves and keeping up, we should just focus on bettering ourselves and that is authentic!
Veryl
This is a challenge for many people, me included. Great lessons and insights.
Lani
Hi Veryl,
Thanks for your comment. I totally understand where your coming from. I actually wrote this post because I wanted to stop comparing myself to others. I’m glad you got something out of it.
Fransic verso
We all need to work on self empowering and this very informative post. I’m working on it as well and love these tips. One of the main things destroying self esteem is comparing ourselves to others.
LaniAuthor
Absolutely, self-empowerment is a continuous journey. Comparing ourselves to others can be so detrimental. It’s important to focus on our own progress and celebrate our unique achievements. Glad you found the tips helpful! Keep going strong!
Jimmy Clare | CrazyFitnessGuy
I need to stop comparing myself to others
LaniAuthor
That’s an amazing realization! Remember, your journey is uniquely yours, and comparing yourself to others only takes away from your own progress and happiness. Embrace your individuality and celebrate your achievements, big and small. You’re on your own path to greatness! Keep shining bright!