self love

Experts say Self-love and Self-care: not a luxury but a necessity


In general, self-love focuses on the thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves whereas self-care centers on our actions. Self-love means loving and accepting yourself unapologetically, whereas self-care is about taking the time to feel good in your skin.

From a perspective, some actions could be considered as both self-loving and self-caring actions. But while these two are different, they’re both necessary to a healthy, fulfilling lifestyle.

Example: Exercise Self-love

Exercise as a self-loving action is because we accept our body and believe that it deserves the vitality that comes from staying fit. We know the benefit it brings to overall health, success, vanity, and enjoyment. Thus it is more of an emotional motive.

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Exercise – Self-care

On the other hand, exercise as part of self-care would come from the knowledge that “If we don’t use our body we lose it”. A sedentary lifestyle would deplete our energy, strength and may affect our body functions. Eventually, early aging and illnesses are inevitable. Therefore, the motivation behind the action is more factual and practical.

Let’s talk more about self-care

There is an assumption that self-care is just about the facial massages, bath bombs, yoga poses, açai bowls or it can also be reading fiction novels and watching movies that makes you happy. Yes, that is part of self-care since you are doing something for yourself. It’s the awareness that you need time for yourself to grow or develop in any way.

To define self-care, it’s basically the act of taking care of yourself physically and mentally. It’s a way to make sure you’re getting the time you need to feel at peace.

  • Self-care means to physically take care of yourself.
  • It’s about replenishing your resources without depleting someone else’s.
  • It’s the act of restoring your own energy, which promotes healthy physical and emotional well-being
  • Taking good care of our own feelings so we don’t project them onto others,
  • It involves setting boundaries so you don’t expend all of your personal energy taking care of everyone but yourself.

Are you familiar with the old cliché – “Take care of yourself first or you will have nothing left to give others.”  When you constantly focus on others, resentment often builds. Although circumstances sometimes force us to give & give in, that selflessness actually leads us to be depleted, overwhelmed, fatigued, and stressed. 

Is Self-care selfish?

Not really, but why do we feel guilty about it? Because somehow our culture dictates that focusing on ourselves is being “selfish”, there’s this saying “Take care of others before you take care of yourself” but that’s a very narrow perspective because really how can you give to others when you have nothing to give?

Actually, selfishness doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, there are times when being selfish is the right thing to do for your health and well-being. It can be good to be a little selfish to take care of your emotional, mental, and physical well-being, which is crucial for a healthy life. It’s incredibly important to maintain a healthy lifestyle.


Do you know how special you are?

There is no other person in this world like you. You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life – YOU.

Why is self-love important? For many of us, self-love might sound like a luxury rather than a necessity — or a new-age fad for those with too much time on their hands.

However, Self-love is not about having too much time, it’s neither a luxury nor a new fad movement rather it’s accepting and cultivating gratitude toward yourself, in all aspects. It takes us into a deeper place than self-care. It’s a state of appreciation for oneself. It’s ever-evolving and it grows through consistent actions that result in maturity.

Loving oneself is:

  • Being intimate with our truths
  • Gentle with our imperfections
  • Honest with our yearnings
  • Appreciation for our uniqueness

When you love and accept yourself you develop self-confidence and trust which is the secret to Most Successful People. That confidence means they are Accountable for themselves. They are the CEO of their life.

14 Ways to Cultivate Self-love

  1. Learn to be mindful. people who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
  2. Practice being accountable. know you are responsible for your thoughts and actions.
  3. Be disciplined. You know you love yourself when you can turn away from something you want in favor of something you need.
  4. Aim for a positive mental attitude. Start each day by telling yourself something really positive.
  5. Be grateful for everything in your life. See the good in the bad.
  6. Self-love motivates self-care. Because you love yourself more you tend to take better care of your needs. Like focusing on living a health and wellness lifestyle.
  7. Follow your passion. Take the risk and do something you love, enjoy the excitement, and take on the challenge.
  8. Get in touch with your inner dialogue. Don’t believe everything you think. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging, and supportive, it’s time to make a change. 
  9. Loving yourself helps stop comparisons. There is no one in this world like you. Your dreams and goals are different from others- so focus on your own vision
  10. Learn to say NO. Set boundaries. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person.
  11. Protect yourself. Surround yourself with people who motivate, understand, encourage, and accept you for who you are. End all toxic relationships. 
  12. Forgive yourself. You are only human. Mistakes are inevitable so instead of punishing yourself, learn from those mistakes and make adjustments.
  13. Live intentionally. You will accept and love yourself more when you live with purpose and design. Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like.
  14. Find your happy place. that place where you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive. Tip: Go to that place when you are going through some hard times.

Self-love and Self-care can be learned and cultivated. Be patient, persistent, and consistent. Once you understand how important you are, you will find ways to practice these values daily. It may take a lifetime to master but every seed is a new beginning, every change is a new chance.

What’s important though is that you make efforts to incorporate these things into your daily life.

Self-care and self-love aren’t about rewarding yourself; it’s about spending time with yourself and loving every minute of it. The fact that you are reading this right now reflects your intention, So be proud of yourself.


In relation here’s another great post that you should definitely read IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MORE IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESS?


  • Reply Ayesha Ayub September 16, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    Accept yourself not only your strengths but flaws also, because no one is you and that is your power

    • Reply Lani September 16, 2021 at 11:43 pm

      Hi Ayesha,

      Thanks for your comment. I 100% agree with you.

  • Reply Aditi Jain September 16, 2021 at 2:02 pm

    Oh it’s definitely a necessity. Helps so much in unwinding

    • Reply Lani September 16, 2021 at 11:42 pm

      Hi Aditi,

      You are absolutely right!

  • Reply Fransic verso September 16, 2021 at 2:54 pm

    Awesome tips! Taking care of ourselves comes first not just mentally but physically as well. I’m working on it now.

    • Reply Lani September 16, 2021 at 11:42 pm

      Hi Fransic,

      Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you’re working on it now!

  • Reply Dori September 16, 2021 at 3:58 pm

    When my kids were little I found self-care impossible. As they have grown to teens, (and I’m aging too!) I am finding that self-care is so valuable. I wish I was able to when the kids were younger.

    • Reply Lani September 16, 2021 at 11:41 pm

      Hi Dori,

      I am in the same boat as you. But there’s no time to look back, let’s just move forward.

  • Reply Martina September 16, 2021 at 9:36 pm

    I honestly am not paying attention to myself and it’s taking a toll on me. This blog is a great reminder for me to pause and take time to take care of myself. Thank you for sharing this with us x

    • Reply Lani September 16, 2021 at 10:17 pm

      Hi Martina,

      I started with an early morning routine, it’s a peaceful time to be alone with your thoughts. Slowly but steadily I’m finding pockets of time during the day for myself. The tip here is to be mindful and get started.

  • Reply Sara September 16, 2021 at 10:07 pm

    Yes, I like his list. Setting boundaries and saying no are definitely ones I need to work on so I’m not so overwhelmed that I feel I dont have time for me.

    • Reply Lani September 16, 2021 at 10:13 pm

      Hi Sara,

      Thanks for your comment. Indeed setting boundaries and saying NO is very important. Try incorporating it into your life slowly. It’s only difficult in the beginning.

  • Reply Komal Singh September 17, 2021 at 11:33 am

    These are some amazing tips! Loving yourself should always take priority.

    • Reply Lani September 19, 2021 at 11:37 pm

      Hi Komal,

      Thanks for your comment. I totally agree with you- loving yourself should be a priority.

  • Reply Trina FOreman September 19, 2021 at 9:30 am

    Self love is so difficult for me. Taking time to invest in myself seems selfish, but I have learned to let things go and give myself grace instead of criticism. I am definitely a work in progress. Thank you fo the insight

    • Reply Lani September 19, 2021 at 11:40 pm

      Hi Trina,

      Thanks for your comment. I’m in the same boat as you, Self-love can really be challenging at times. But taking it one step at a time consistently can really help. Check out my post on life baggage, that would really help make the process of self-love easier.

  • Reply Rochelle September 19, 2021 at 11:39 am

    Love these tips! Self care is an absolutely necessity because when things get rough you need to rewind

    • Reply Lani September 19, 2021 at 11:41 pm

      Hi Rochelle,

      Thanks for the comment. I hope those tips help you especially when things get rough.

  • Reply Tabi Lee September 19, 2021 at 11:43 am

    Self care in self-love are so important! And I think the pandemic has helped us realize that!
    I think a lot of us realize that we are working too hard and giving too much to other people and companies and it’s taking away from ourselves. I think making sure that we take breaks, and we take vacations, and we take mental health days are also ways we can care for ourselves and love ourselves.

    • Reply Lani September 19, 2021 at 11:44 pm

      Hi Tabi,

      Your comment is 100% correct. Now is the best time to work on self-love and self-care. You first!

  • Reply Madison Cano September 19, 2021 at 12:26 pm

    Love this ❤️

    • Reply Lani September 19, 2021 at 11:44 pm

      Hi Madison,

      Thanks for the comment. Glad you loved it!

  • Reply Areil September 21, 2021 at 10:12 am

    Self care is so important to stay healthy in all ways.

    • Reply Lani September 22, 2021 at 4:03 am

      Hi Ariel,

      Thanks for your comment. Indeed Self care is very important for overall health.

  • Reply Kelly September 22, 2021 at 4:05 pm

    I needed this today. Self-care is something I’m still learning to practice and cultivate. I’m going to do something for myself this afternoon to recenter. ♥️

    • Reply Lani September 22, 2021 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Kelly,

      I’m happy that you found this post just when you needed it. I hope it gives you ideas in your self-care journey.

  • Reply Unwanted Life October 4, 2021 at 3:42 am

    100% a necessity and not a luxury

    • Reply Lani October 4, 2021 at 9:47 pm

      Yes, I absolutely agree.

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