A Guided Process on how to Change your Life
When most of us set out to change our lives, we often focus on all the external stuff, for instance, becoming successful, finding a new job, getting fit, find a new set of friends, and so on. What some of us don’t realize is that before we can change the exterior we need to first change the interior.
When we start our journey of Change we realize that it’s a process. It is not a “quick fix” or an “overnight solution. It’s digging into your limiting beliefs, understanding your whys, exploring new parts of yourself, and eventually accepting your person. This process takes a lot of time, patience, and consistent practice, day in and day out until you decide who it is you want to be.
Reinventing oneself is challenging and difficult thus most give up when they’re not even halfway there. Unless you can approach things differently. You have to understand that change always starts from the inside, not the outside. The reality is that you have to start with changing the way you see everything.
Before you go forward recognize that everything you do has a cost— the results will be rewarding so make sure you are willing to pay for it!
Let’s start by asking yourself the hard questions
Figure Out Who You Are
Question: Who you are? I mean do you know what drives you, what terrifies you, why do you do the things you do, and do you know how others perceive you? Self-awareness is, somewhat in short supply nowadays, self-delusion, on the other hand, is not! But there’s really no way to change your life if you don’t know what you’re changing about yourself in the first place.
Forgive your past
Dwelling on past mistakes, past pain, and bad memories ruins your happiness in the present. And when you hold on to old pain, it’s hard to see a brighter future. I know this is easier said than done but learning to be kinder to ourselves and lightening up our life luggage makes moving forward easier.
Understanding the Need for Change
“A hungry stomach, an empty wallet, and a broken heart can teach you the best lessons in life” – Robin Williams
There’s usually a substantial reason why you want to change. When aspects of life are out of control, sometimes the choices are to give up or to keep fighting. Let’s chose the latter. But how do you know which direction to go?
Taking a hard look at your life, you realize that the most urgent problems are likely situational:
- The place you live is making you miserable
- You hate your job
- Opportunity is scarce
- Life seems unfair
- You’re facing a crisis with finances, health, or a bad relationship.
To be able to change your life, you need to understand why you’re in this situation. Therefore it’s essential to know why you are seeking change, and what it might look like.
- What got me to my current situation?
- Why do I want to change?
- How can I change my situation?
- What am I good at?
- What makes me happy?
- Who do I want to be?
- Where do I want to be in the future?
These aren’t easy answers, and there’s not always a fast solution. The goal is to shift your life around to include more things that make you happy. You can’t do that when you’re always doing what makes other people happy.
Identify self-sabotaging behaviors
Don’t listen to that voice. That voice is afraid of change.
Patterns of behavior can sabotage your long-term goals — without you even knowing.
Limiting beliefs, procrastination, addiction, and even lack of confidence can derail efforts to change your situation. This becomes evident when you start trying to change. Routine thought patterns and bad habits keep blocking any progress.
If you’re struggling to see what could stop you from transforming your life, consider asking for help from a close friend or family member that you trust.
Be aware of potential pitfalls before they arise. But again, don’t dwell on the bad things – just write them down and move onto the next step.
If you want to learn how to change your life completely, be prepared to say goodbye to your comfort zone. The very essence of growth is to move beyond what you’ve experienced before.
You have to break new ground.
Focus More on Habits, Less on Goals
Take things one step at a time. Once you identify those negative thoughts and behaviors start to make changes one habit at a time. Know that taking a step forward no matter how small as long as you are committed and consistent the results will always be cumulative.
Choose “One Thing”
When learning how to change your life completely, it’s important to remember that this process takes time – it won’t all happen at once.
If you try to change too much in one go, you’ll likely become overwhelmed, burned out, and then revert to your usual way of operating.
So, conquer one thing at a time. Once it becomes a new habit you can start habit stacking. One of the best ways to build a new habit is to identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack your new behavior on top of it.
Learn how to take criticism
Criticism is a given in Life, everyone will always have their opinions. Interestingly, it’s also a blessing in disguise. A lot of times it really pushes a person to make a move. If you live your life avoiding it, you will never take the risks required to make a big change.
Since you must live with it, learn how to handle it. Consider constructive criticism and ignore negative critisism, don’t forget that what people say about you is really none of your business!
We all have 24 hrs in a day yet if you look around, there is always someone in the world who grew up in a similar place, time, and situation as you, yet they are making a difference by changing their life for the better each and every single day. So what’s your excuse?
Easy Habits that make a difference
1. Write in a journal
A daily writing habit helps quiet the distracting thoughts that keep you stuck.
Journaling is like talking out all the ideas spinning in your mind. Whether these thoughts are positive or negative, they distract you from doing any real work to change your situation. You can also consider Scripting which is another form of Journaling but is written in the future tense, this will help give you inspiration and a vision for your ideal future.
Meditating is a powerful practice that helps bring clarity to every area of your life. It has been shown to reduce anxiety and stress while improving focus and memory.
It’s like a daily reset for your brain that’s even more powerful than sleep.
3. Learn persistence
Failure is part of Life. The question is not whether we win or lose, it’s how do you react to it. Do you use it to learn and become better or do you just give up? A change in perspective and the deliberate building of persistence and grit will make a huge difference.
No dream was ever achieved by giving up at the first sign of resistance.
4. Be Action-Oriented
Learning skills and processes is essential to creating the life that you want. Unfortunately, many people get stuck there. They don’t move on to the “action” phase.
You can keep learning all you want, but that information won’t do you any good unless you use it. Use it or loose it!
There is never a perfect time to start. You only have right now.
5. Establish a morning routine
The Early bird catches the worm
The most successful people have a morning routine. They follow the same rituals every single morning. They know that the first actions of the day set them up for a successful day.
6. Envision your ideal self
Most people run their lives on autopilot. They never question the path of their lives. They see themselves as a ship tossed around on rough seas.
Visualizing is a powerful tool to take back control of your ship!
With a strong vision of who you want to become, you are well on your way to achieving it.
In other words, look forward and Imagine the person you are destined to be.
7. Create a Plan
You must have a plan for how you will change your life — or it will never happen. Without a Productive Plan, procrastination, uncertainty, and inertia will always win.
When you already know what step to take each day, progress becomes tangible, achievable, and real.