Do you sometimes feel like you’re not being yourself? Like you’re hiding who you are? Like your trying to be someone you’re not? Fakeness. We all know what it looks like. We all know what it feels like. The pain of hiding our true selves just to gain validation, acceptance, and a sense of belongingness feels terrible.

We’ve all been guilty of pretending to be people we’re not. Whether out of fear, lack of self-esteem or the desire to be accepted, putting on a mask is sometimes the only choice. The problem is when we wear a mask for so long we have a tendency to forget what’s underneath. We forget who we are.

It’s draining to play a different role for every audience you come across during the day, and it’s easy to lose track of your true self. Have you tried looking at yourself in the mirror and asking “Who are you?”. Are you starting to wonder where’s the Authentic you?

Standards of an Imperfect Society

Sadly, society has set a standard that is really not applicable to everyone. And because of this, we set the bar too high or too low for ourselves- We like to compare, compete, judge and worse give up and thus we wear that mask tight each day. We forget that everyone has flaws including the people we perceive to be perfect.

The Pitfalls of Pretending to be Someone You’re Not

Shape-shifting your personality to fit other people’s standards is a sure-fire way to wreck your self-esteem. How could you be confident in who you really are when you’re making such a supreme effort to hide your authentic self from the world?

It’s understandable why people put in the effort to please others, I mean who doesn’t want to be liked and accepted? But if you’re bending over backward in an effort to make every single person happy, you’re in for a disappointment, people-pleasing is an exhausting activity, and no matter how perfect you portray yourself to be there’s still no way to please everyone. 

So when you “fake it till you make it” make sure it benefits you long term, because you become and you attract who you project.

When you tread the line between authenticity and fakeness you can lose your true self in the middle.

Disadvantages of Hiding your True Self

1. The Person likes you for the Fabrication of a Personality you have Invented.

It’s better to have a few friends who love and accept you for who you are than to have a lot of friends who will never accept the real you. Be proud of who you are. It is true that some people won’t be fans of your authentic self, but it’s also true that the ones who matter will stand by your side no matter what.

2. Fame is the Opposite of being Authentic. 

Being famous requires being accepted by the masses. You stop being YOU to become everyone else’s fantasy.

Are you curious if people would accept and support you for just being yourself? Do you think you could be much more successful and uniquely valuable just by being you?

I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier. – Oprah Winfrey

3. The High Price of Fakeness

Do you know being fake comes at a high price? Yes, It will cost you your self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love. Simply accepting the person you are- your strengths and weaknesses and being proud of yourself is critical to your health and happiness.

Authenticity: Unmasking the Real You

There is usually an underlying reason why we so desperately wear masks and pretend to be someone were not. Understanding this problem gives us an edge because instead of wasting energy pretending to be someone else, we can in fact change, create and become the person we want to be. There is room for change and for growth!

Your True Self also called your real self, or original self is the most authentic version of you. Your Authentic Self is the “YOU” when you’re at your most open, vulnerable, and real. Your authenticity is the one thing (more than anything) that makes you unique.

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Developing your Authenticity

1. Self Exploration

If you are not satisfied with your habits, routines, the way you talk, the way you look, or your personality traits – then you can definitely change and work on it. Accept yourself first, stop judging and devise a plan. Research shows that our self-esteem rises the moment we stop being so hard on ourselves.

2. Focus on Yourself

Instead of looking at other people and working hard to be like them, you should focus on yourself. Remember, loving yourself is not selfish. You cannot expect to love others if you don’t love yourself. This means setting your own standards and metrics to measure your success.

3. Get Inspired- Self Curation

People, you idolize are not perfect at all, instead of aiming to be a second-hand copycat aim for creating the person you want to be. Make a list of people you admire pick the traits or habits in each of them, learn those traits, and integrate them into your life. In essence, you create the new you.

4. Confront your Fears

Fear is a part of life however you don’t need to give it too much power over you. Fear is not a plague, it can however play with our thoughts- It can overestimate the outcome and underestimate reality. So don’t be afraid to make changes and adjustments. Write a list of the things you’ve been meaning to do, and take baby steps. Don’t be afraid to fail, look at failure as a teacher that points us in the right direction-be bold. Know that a big victory is made up of many small victories.

5. Create a Positive Environment

Focus on the positive aspects of life. Surround yourself with positivity. Your company, your mentors, and your thoughts will determine how high you go in your personal and professional life.

6. Forgive Yourself

You cannot grow and prosper without forgiving yourself and others. Remember, forgiveness is a selfish act. You forgive others so that you can have enough energy to focus on your growth and improvement. So forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and for the mistakes others have made towards you. No one is perfect.

7. Focus on Progress

Forget about the ideal. Perfection will not take you to the next level. When you focus on your progress, you’ll eventually become successful. Keep in mind that there will always be room for improvement no matter how well you do something.

8. Develop Grit

Life is full of challenges, when you fall, you have to get up and keep on moving. Everyone falls at one point in their lives- when we fail, we learn more about ourselves than when we succeed. There’s always room for change. At the end of the day, celebrate for having the courage to go after what you want.

9. Build your Self-Worth 

Realize that you will never be “good enough” for everyone, so stop trying to be and refocus that energy on accepting all that you are.

Having An Authentic Attitude

• Don’t Aim to Please Others
• Don’t Worry About How Others View You
• Learn More About Yourself
• Appreciate Who You Are
• Be Confident with Who You Are
• Forgive Yourself
• Stop Being Negative About Yourself
• Find a Hobby That You Love
• Learn from Your Mistakes
• Strive for What You Want to Accomplish

One thing to remember is that you only have one life, there is only one you, and you are here for a purpose- to leave your mark, your legacy. So instead of hiding in the shadows, choose to become the best person you can be so you don’t have to apologize for being you.

For more ways to do this, build your Self-Esteem. 11 WAYS A HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM CHANGES THE TRAJECTORY OF YOUR LIFE